When we have an anxious attachment style, what we’re actually seeking is for our partner to regulate our nervous system. We struggle with feelings of vulnerability and fear of abandonment. So relationships become more like a puzzle— something we have to constantly focus on and analyze. We become meaning making machines, always looking for clues for how the other person truly feels. Unlike avoidants, who cope with their anxiety by isolating— people with anxious attachment cope by being chronicall
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